How to Follow Jesus When You Feel Disconnected from Church

If you’re wondering how to follow Jesus when you feel disconnected, you’re not alone. Some of my most disconnected moments in my faith were when I was a full-time minister. I’m not really sure when or how it started, but I always recognized it when I went to service because it was expected, not because I was excited about it. I didn’t really want to do any of the church stuff. I loved the people and helping them connect with Jesus was exciting, but the passion and excitement in my own life had dried up.

There are a lot of reasons this has happened throughout my life, but it always felt difficult to get out of the foggy valley I was in. I didn’t feel like I could really talk to anyone. I was a minister; who was I going to tell that I didn’t feel like being at the church?

Even after I transitioned from ministry, not because of any of these moments, but because of some great opportunities God opened up, I still found myself disconnected and most Sundays, I was just going through the motions.

But even in the times I felt disconnected and foggy, there were 5 things I continued to do because these are the things that keep us connected, even when we don’t feel like it. And the devil would love nothing more to isolate us when we’re struggling. But we press on. 

Because we follow Jesus.

Not a person.

Not a church program.

Just Jesus.

5 Ways to Stay Connected to Jesus

1. Consistency Over Feelings

This may seem odd if I’m saying I don’t feel connected at church. However, I’ll never feel connected if I don’t go. Through years of leading different ages and stages of ministry, the advice I gave everyone new was to just commit to consistency. That is the biggest step for new people, and I would say even more important for those of us that have the disconnected feeling. New people at least have excitement to keep them going. Once the excitement fizzles you need commitment to get you through sometimes.

2. Finding New Rhythms with God

I’m slowly rebuilding what my time with God looks like. It was easy to make it a part of my flow when work time allowed for it, and sometimes even required it. But now I have new rhythms to figure out. I do use a tracker, but it’s more for me to see if *what I’m doing* and *when I’m trying to do* it is working. If I can’t keep the time or rhythm I want, I may need to try something new. I’ve gotten to the place that every day I’m engaging with the Bible. Sometimes it’s writing one Bible verse, sometimes it’s working on my memorization, sometimes I can dig a little deeper into a verse and have some study time. But I don’t put a rule around what engaging with the Bible looks like, I just am making it a habit to do something with the Bible that helps my relationship with God.

3. Faith Through Community

This doesn’t mean watch sermons. And while that’s not a bad thing if you find someone that teaches in a way that helps you.  There is a different understanding when people just have faith based conversations about what ==it looks like to follow Jesus in your everyday life.==  Showing up at this post is one way to do that. The Bible project is a podcast I really like that’s just two guys talking about the Bible and what they’ve learned, not in a preachy way, just in a “isn’t this cool” kind of way.  I also like Sunday cool. Not because it’s faith-based, but it’s Jesus people just having fun. Sometimes we get caught up in what our faith is supposed to look like, that finding people who love Jesus in a non-stereotypical way helps us shake off the disconnected feelings.

4. Serving as a Reset

I’m sure you’ve heard the saying that people don’t think of you nearly as much as you think they do. Serving is a way to get outside of the difficulties you’re having at this moment and focus on someone else.  This always gives a new perspective and helps us realign with the active part of our faith, not just the knowledge part. Basically, serving is a way to stop worrying about if you’re doing it right, acting right, looking right, and just help someone who needs Jesus. It can be in your church or it can be at a local Jesus based nonprofit, but serving others helps us worry about ourselves a little less.   

And yes, I do recommend serving with others, because serving creates connection which helps with the disconnection. You may not find the perfect serving fit right off the bat and that’s ok. But give each serving opportunity a couple rotations to get the hang of it, and then make up your mind. 

5. Journaling Your Way Forward

It can be as a prayer or journal, but write down what’s going on in your head and heart. Getting it on paper helps keep it from rolling around over and over and lets you see it from a different perspective. I’ve found writing my thoughts out always helps me move forward rather than letting it ruminate inside of me.  And it’s not that it solves the problem overnight, or that I don’t keep writing the same thing down over a period of time. But it helps you to see your thoughts and work on the ones that aren’t helpful and work on giving those to God, which a lot of times is a big barrier to feeling connected.

Galatians 6:9 reminds us:

“Let us not grow weary in well-doing, for in due time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

It’s easy to get tired of the work before us because people can be difficult, we can be difficult.  But Jesus didn’t set up a life of isolation for himself with just him and God, he found 12 people and asked them to do life with him. It was a mixture of ages, stages, and backgrounds, and Jesus leaned into life with them, even when it was frustrating. So there are things we shouldn’t give up on, even when it’s frustrating.  And at the end of the day, we don’t do these things because of anyone but Jesus.  If we are truly following Jesus and not a person, or trend, or church, then these are things we should do because Jesus modeled it.

Start Small

If you’re struggling to feel connected in your church, start with one of the things above, and then another, and then another. Keep connecting to Jesus, through the discontentment, because God is starting a new thing in you.  It may be time to have conversations and see if God is preparing you for a next instead of connecting to the now. 

So start with one and lean into relationship, that’s where connection begins. 

Stay Weird,