Do you all remember how in the 90’s, the “happy holidays” and “keeping the Christ in Christmas” were the culture war of the time? Well, let’s talk about how to actually keep the Christ in Christmas because your example of what Jesus looks like will speak far louder than any pin or bumper sicker you might have.

Now, I know we’re only a couple of days away from December, and by the time you read this, it might already be December, so we’re going to keep this simple too. Because the most important thing to keep Jesus in the middle is to make sure Culture isn’t dictating what is most important and that you’re staying focused on the relationships that matter.

So the first thing I want you to do, no matter where you are in the Christmas season, take a deep breath and assess how you are feeling about Christmas. Are you feeling dread because it’s too much, or are you excited and happy? Are you feeling overwhelmed because they’re already too much in a short period of time? Are you indifferent because the holidays don’t hold anything special? Or maybe Christmas feels like your Superbowl. You’ve trained all year, and this is game day for you. If you’re one of those people, leave us some tips in the comments. For the rest of us, we’re going to try and get to the bottom of what is causing our feelings and how we can dump the negative and leave more room for Jesus centered joy.

Let’s start with making sure the important things have their place by asking ourselves a couple of questions:

When are you spending time with Jesus?

Maybe it’s around dinner, and you read part of the Christmas story. Maybe it’s in going to a living nativity or an advent tradition. Maybe you’re not sure how to make sure you’re spending time with Jesus, but you know you want more time to focus on the whole point. Here is a quick list of ideas:

Read advent scriptures at dinner each night
Read the Christmas story on Christmas day
Have a Jesus-centered advent calendar
Do advent
Have a Jessup tree

However, if you plan on Jesus being more a part of the season this year, make sure you have a plan on when and how you’re going to achieve it. And remember, you don’t have to do everything. Just start with taking one more step than years past. Faith isn’t a checklist; it’s about prioritizing a relationship.

Who are the people you need to spend time with?

The people that are most important to you, whether it’s specific people or a group of people, make sure your calendar allows you to prioritize time with them. Schedule your Christmas time with these people before any other. Then, when there are optional opportunities that come up, you know that the most important things are happening. While you’re at it, make sure to schedule any prep work that comes with spending time with these people. If you know your friends are going to play Dirty Santa every year, make sure you plan time to figure out your gift and get it ready. Plan the important stuff out so you don’t have to stress about when or if there is time.

What are the Christmas things that make you excited or bring you Joy?

Once you have your time with your people scheduled, make sure you’re picking the things that bring you joy and make the holidays a little more cozy. For me, it’s the Saturday after Thanksgiving when we decorate the tree. I also make beignets, which have some family history and it makes them extra special. Maybe it’s Christmas caroling, or cookie baking, or holiday light strolling. Make sure to add the things that make you feel the Christmas spirit, so you don’t feel stressed about when or if it’s happening.

What are the things you’re dreading about Christmas?

There are things that many of us do every year because we feel like we have to do it. Is it driving to a million Christmas’ with Kids? Is it the company Christmas Party? Is it the cost of presents for everyone that you feel like you “have” to buy for? Then don’t. Or figure out how you say less of yes this year or more of a no in those situations. Next week I’m going to be giving some tips on cheap, easy, and last-minute gift ideas if you’re struggling not buying gifts for everyone but you can’t really afford it.

Really, figure out the why behind what causes the dread. Is it guilt or FOMO or worry about what people will think? Figuring out what is making you miserable and if there is a way for you to say “no” to that part and still say part of a yes will help you set up your holiday better. Maybe you’ll have to say no to some traditions because they aren’t bringing joy anymore, but that leaves space for new ones that will.

Once you know what you want your holiday season to look like, it’s time to make the plan. But try to be smart with your time. Don’t just add thing after thing to your calendar till it’s busting. Consider the scheduling options below.

Double up: Is there something you can do at the same time as something already planned? Maybe reading the Christmas story while you are driving or at dinner will help you add more Jesus without adding more to-dos to your calendar.
Swap: Maybe something that is draining you can be swapped with something that will give you Joy. Do that.
Compromise: Maybe you can’t completely cut something out of the calendar, can you compromise to get closer to a Christmas that makes you centered on Jesus? Maybe this year is just a step closer to what it will hopefully become.
Say no: Maybe this is the year to stop doing something because you feel guilty. Then do it. I have faith that you can say no if you need to. For me, I say no to elf on the shelf. We’ve had kids that have mentioned it, and we’ve come up with different reasons we don’t need an elf in our house compared to other homes, but I refuse to add something I have to do every single night just for bragging rights. Not my cup of tea. But every year, we’re going to go to our zoo lights festival. Maybe being in a crowd of people seems like the worst thing to you, and you’ll never do that. We each have things we need to say no to that others would think you’re a horrible person for opting out, but keeping your sanity and free space to spend with people is always a better route to go.

So what is your plan? What are you saying yes to? What are you saying no to? Where is Jesus in your Christmas?

Stay Weird,